Today a ton of my photographer friends have been sharing an article from The Huffington Post by Anne Almasy, an award winning photographer.
At first read of the article, “Resolution,” my heart kind of dropped. I felt saddened that so many of my photographer friends agreed so whole-heartily with something that felt as if it went against what I do and my little contribution to the wedding industry. However, after a few (like 10) more reads… I had some other thoughts about the article and my friends’ response to it.
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| Photo by West Impressions, Summer Wedding Featured on A Well Crafted Party |
- A wedding blog/magazine responded to the photographer’s submission with the following words, “….More pictures of flowers, centerpieces, and any other details that really made these weddings special. Our Real Weddings section should give brides ideas for planning the perfect wedding.” I’d be tee’d off if it were my wedding and someone said that they needed more photos of the things that “really made these weddings special.” It was a poor way of saying that your readers/advertisers look for detail shots that will inspire creations for future weddings. Of course the wedding is about the couple and the people that are sharing the day with them. However, I also understand why blogs/wedding magazines can’t fill the pages with lovely photos of guests/couples… they’d never sell! I personally will ooh and ahh over beautiful wedding photos of guests, but I will spend hours devouring the details of an event getting inspired for events of my own.
- The author does mention that she believes you should throw a party exactly as you should want it… she says that she means no offense to those in the wedding industry. She says she enjoys taking photos of those details. However, the overall tone of the article suggests that the details and the “damn expensive party” take away from what you’re really celebrating… or is it just me?
“If you’re planning your wedding right now, please just close the magazine. Log out of Pinterest. And look at the person you want to grow old with. Remind yourself of why you’re doing this. And really CELEBRATE when that day comes. Don’t stress about your shoes or your cake or your flowers. Don’t stress about anything. When it’s all over, you will be married, and surrounded by the people who know you and love you most in the whole wide world.”
- Weddings can be stressful for about a thousand different reasons that have nothing to do with the “details.” How many brides out there stressed about whether a guest could make the date or whether their guests would get along? How many weddings have been planned (stressfully I might add) around an ill grandmother or a brother who is about to ship off for a job? I can’t get on board with this no stress= a better wedding mentality.
But, for someone who loves the details and who stresses over them herself often enough, I feel that just because someone looks through those wedding magazines or scours Pinterest it doesn’t mean she/he doesn’t know why they are throwing the event in the first place. (Although, I should say that I believe that at some point in the wedding planning process it is time to STOP the inspiration and get on with the planning … maybe that is what the author is trying to convey?)
It is a possibility that the author of the article is just responding to the stressed out brides on their big day. Or perhaps its a response to the magazine’s terrible response for “the details that really made these weddings special.” I don’t disagree that a wedding photographer does SO MUCH MORE than just capture those details. As a matter of fact, I believe that the best wedding photographers capture the feeling of the party for the guests and the bride and groom.
(And, I hope they see the value in the detail work people like I do.)
10 Comments
I definitely see the point for people who have become obsessed with the visuals and are missing the point of their weddings. But, I think since the ubiquity of Pinterest and DIY ideas, and how weddings have already transformed in the past few years, the point may be less relevant. I was just reading about material things/possessions in Gretchen Rubin’s “Happier at Home” and she included a lot of cool quotes about how our things reflect ourselves. To some extent, many brides may find the physical and decorative elements of their weddings so important because they’ve put part of themselves into making or choosing them. Things that we engage with make us happy. I don’t have the book in front of me now, but trust me, the quotes say it well…
I do agree that some people have become too obsessed and there is often a feeling of trying to get things “Pinterest” worthy that leaves me feeling icky. However, I agree that the elements people choose for their weddings mean something. Maybe I’d be happier with the story if it emphasized that people should find what elements are most important to them as a couple and focus on them instead of going too crazy into the details. That those elements will reflect well in the photography because everyone will be happier and much more at ease.
I think that sometimes people get caught up in the details of the day and less with what the day is about, but I also think these little things sometimes hold a lot of meaning for the couple and that’s why they have been included. I think its about finding balance.
That is where I am at! BALANCE.
I personally wish I had concerned myself a bit more with the details. Looking back now, I realize that my mom took care of all of that stuff which stressed her out a ton just because I didn’t want to stress myself out. It would have probably been easier for everyone if Jeremy and I had something like pinterest to gather inspiration and figure out what was “us” instead of making my mom try to figure it out with pretty much no help.
I understand that feeling… but, if your mom is anything like mine… though she was stressed, she was also very happy to get to play such a big role in your big day. 🙂 I’m sure it meant a lot to her! Pinterest would have been nice when I had my wedding too! But, I can see how some people take it toooooo far!
I never dreamed about the details growing up. But, as I started to research ideas after I got engaged, I did start collecting details. This was because when I saw that detail, I thought “oh, that reminds me of us/family/etc”. It would be something we love, or something that brought up a memory. No, I didn’t know about those details until I saw them, but I’m glad I did discover it, even if it may not have made it into the wedding, because each one triggered me to think and remember and appreciate another part of my life story.
Weddings are held to a particularly stressful bar because sure, it’s a celebration of a one in a lifetime union, but historically it has never been just that. Even when weddings were transactional, there was an element of trying to represent who you are and yes, impress. The idea that a wedding doesn’t have stress if you don’t think about details seems ridiculous.
And that’s where I sort of landed- that you should make sure that the details at your wedding are ones imbued with meaning. Yes there are lots of beautiful things out there but these are the ones that are most important to you as a couple and a family, and don’t get carried away with showing off and having to represent everything about you in everything. The details should be an extension of celebrating the love, and not just materials. Just like you don’t invite the whole city to your wedding just those you care about, do the same in inviting the details into your wedding! And, I think these are the kind of details that are inspiring.
I completely agree… and, after reading through her post SEVERAL times, I feel like she enjoys the details too. I think the writer of the article that inspired this post was just reacting to the overwhelming idea that the details are EVERYTHING. And, yep… they aren’t. They are something though. I love that you said that the details helped trigger a thought or memory. That is when the details are just as they should be!
i am glad i am not planning my wedding yet, because i am the worst decision maker ever! let’s just hope i can find a good balance of the smalls, stressful details and the love for the soon to be hubs when that time comes.
Honestly, the decision making is the hardest part! That is when I recommend spending about 1 month just reaching out to all the inspiration your really like and then sit back and see if a theme emerges. After a month though… cut out the looking and start the process of deciding. I’m sure you will find the perfect balance. For me, my (now) husband provided my balance. When I went crazy in the details he would gently pull me back. 🙂