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Motherhood

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This is the first post in a series of stories on working moms. While I’m excited for the amazing variety of women that have been interviewed for this project, I know it isn’t a drop in the bucket of the stories of working mothers. Hopefully there is something in at least one of the stories that resonates with readers. However, the best story is YOUR story and I’d love to hear it. Keep the conversation going in the comments and on social media using #wellcraftedworkingmoms. A huge thank you to the women who volunteered to share their stories, Mary Boyden of Mamma Bear Magazine for her photography and Madeline Roosevelt for hair and makeup! 

 

A Portrait of Working Moms - A Well Crafted Party

 

Why post about working moms?

 

Because I said so. That works, right? No, well, it doesn’t for my toddler either. So, here it goes:

A few years back, after several upsetting and tiresome months, I decided that I was spending too much time and effort on things that really didn’t matter. In that low period of my life I decided that I needed to focus. I wanted to live a life of purpose. In that time I really examined each area in my life in which I spend my time, money, and energy to see if it helped me live my life with more purpose. Those items that didn’t fit my goals got removed (when possible) or adjusted to fit better within my goals. This blog was one of the items that needed to be adjusted from something that was just a hobby I enjoyed to a place of purpose.

Over the past few years, my mission within my blog is to inspire, educate and encourage readers to take joy in the everyday and celebrate the many moments that make life a party. I believe whole-heartedly that we should celebrate the moments of the every day. All of this is to lead in to why I am doing a series on working mothers…

Highlighting the triumphs and trials of working mothers, for me, is a way of celebrating the incredible journey that I and many other mothers are going through. This is not a series to say one way of being a mom is better than any other way. I believe the best thing a mother can do for her children is to decide what is the best situation for her family, whether it be to work or to stay home.

 

Working Moms Interviews at A Well Crafted Party

 

Series Intro

 

Sometime after going back to work after my short maternity leave with my second child I decided that I wanted to hear what working was like for other mothers. I put out a volunteer request and had several mothers sign up to share their story and pose for photos.

Mothers are often the last to get ready for the day and are typically the ones behind the camera. I wanted to make these women feel pampered a bit and receive some great photos of themselves, so I contacted Mary Boyden of Momma Bear Magazine to help me host a photoshoot to feature the women. Hair and makeup pro Madeline Roosevelt volunteered her services to really make these mommas feel as beautiful as they are! (Check out a video made from behind the scenes at the shoot!)

Nearly everyone of the volunteers were able to make it to a day of photos, food, and chatting with other working mothers. Over the past month or so I’ve been collecting interviews with each of the women, including those who were unable to attend the photoshoot. I cannot even begin to say how joyful this whole process has been. I’m super excited to share these stories with you between now and Mother’s Day.

I’ll post stories of working mothers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from now until Mother’s Day 2016. In between those posts you can look forward to posts that will hopefully make the balancing act of life a tad easier for those who are parents and who are not.

 

Working Moms Interviews at A Well Crafted Party

 

 Open Your Eyes!

 

I teased this series with graphics saying “Open Your Eyes” because I truly hope that this series helps open the eyes of those who read it. If becoming a mother wasn’t hard enough, one thing that many mothers experience when moving into this new phase of life is that there is a lot of judgement and “shoulds” that happen from other mothers, non-parents, friends, family, complete strangers… you get the point. While the saying goes “it takes a village” for good reason, often we need that village to be one of support rather than unsolicited advice.

These stories will hopefully show that new mother who loves her career that there is someone out there experiencing a similar situation. The mother of young children struggling with balancing her home and work responsibilities may know after reading these stories that she is not alone. The non-parent who happens upon these stories may open her eyes to more of what her co-worker with children deals with each day. I hope that these stories resonate with people. However, at the lack of that, they are entertaining and moving stories worth reading.

Missy Maki, one of the working moms I interviewed, said it best:

My big thing about being a working mom is that it is not easy for anyone. We all have to scotch tape and safety pin things together at one time or another, and it’s okay. We need to smile at each other, to wink at each other when our kid is losing their shit at Safeway. We need to swipe our debit card when another moms Oregon Trail card is declined. It is our responsibility to step up, smile, help, and make it clear that we all know it is hard, and offer helping hands to each other.

Missy Maki

 

 

Follow along with the Working Moms series: #wellcraftedworkingmoms

 

Follow Along & Join the Conversation

I’m excited to be posting these stories of working mothers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from now until Mother’s Day 2016. I’d love to hear how you enjoy the series and about your stories of working in motherhood. Share with me via Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. Use the hashtag #wellcraftedworkingmoms so I, and others who are following, may see your story as well!

Just dropping in to show you what I’ve been working on behind the scenes these days! This April I’ll be featuring a series on Working Moms— Their challenges and joys while working throughout motherhood. I’m so excited to share the stories of some amazing women!

But, of course, these 13 women are not representative of all women. I’d like to know your story as well! If you are a working mom and want to share why you work, the challenges of a working mom, the joys of a working mom or any story about working during motherhood then please share with the hashtag #wellcraftedworkingmoms

A huge thank you to the women who volunteered and participated in the interviews and photoshoot. Thank you to Momma Bear Magazine for coming and shooting some amazing images that we will be sharing this April and to Madeline Roosevelt from Up Close with Madi for hair and makeup!

Note: This is not a series saying that working motherhood is the way to do things. It is simply women sharing their stories about working in motherhood. I’m not here to add to the mommy wars. I am currently a working mom and wanted to hear the stories of others in the same situation.

There are a lot of things that change the second time around in pregnancy and birth. The biggest of the changes for me was…. well, me. I’d become much more laid back with my ideas of how things should go in childbirth. I’d become much less concerned with a LOT of things. I think it shows in the difference between the births of my two children. The description of my first birth was nearly as long as the birth process itself (DAYS) and scans three posts. This one was not nearly as painful and therefore, won’t be nearly as daunting to read. 😉

There are some fairly descriptive parts coming and if you’re not a fan of oversharing in the birth experience then thank you very much for reading, I’ll see you later this week with my new post that is less graphic.

The tale of a second birth

So, you like reading birth stories… so do I! The first time around with pregnancy I devoured each and every story I could read. This time around, not so much. As a matter of fact, I didn’t really even think of the birth as much as how I’d handle the weeks home after having the baby.

My first pregnancy I was very concerned with having an all natural process. That didn’t work out as planned. I knew my second kiddo would not be medication free, but I certainly didn’t realize that it would include induction. My first child came 5 days early and with a gestational diabetes diagnosis it was highly believed that kiddo number two would also come early. Three weeks before my due date my doctor said that I was already effacing and beginning to dilate. I told her I had too much to do that week and really needed him to last the week. Her response? “Well, I hope that happens for you.”

People were worried to be around me during our move, Halloween party and at work. Nearly every day at work I heard, “Jenni’s here!” I was thankful for the extra time because I had a ton of little projects going that I needed to wrap up before D-Day.  The weekend before my due date I was SURE that would be the time to have the baby. I was having regular contractions, had work wrapped up, had all my bags ready and in the car… I was ready. Contractions slowed down to a stop and I went to work that next week. Suddenly it was the day before my due date and my last day at work.

My doctor and I had decided that if baby didn’t come on my due date we would be inducing the next day. I know a lot of people are against induction, and I certainly wasn’t excited about it, but I decided it was best for me and baby after many months of being swollen and in pain. I spent all day on my due date trying to get things going. The morning of my induction my contractions began as I was getting ready to head out to the hospital. These were most certainly the contractions of an impending birth. Evidently baby agreed that it was the day to come.

Two excited parents the morning of induction

Induction

 

They let me naturally contract for about three hours at the hospital after eating a light breakfast and settling in before checking me and discussing our plan. I was only dilated to a two though I had been contracting for some time. My first birth was a very LONG experience, and I knew enough about my body to know that I needed to relax as much as possible to really get this going.

The doctor laid out a few options for me including breaking my water to see if we could get things going fast or starting a small dosage of Pitocin. I opted for the Pitocin because I knew that once that water broke things got… PAINFUL and there was no guarantee it would speed things up. They started out the Pitocin on the lowest dosage and watched it as contractions began to mount. I bounced on the birthing ball and watched episodes of How I Met Your Mother in those early hours.

The plan was that I would labor with the lowest dosages of Pitocin that still kept things going until I couldn’t handle the pain, then I would get an epidural and then break my water if it hadn’t naturally broken. (My water never did break naturally after three days of labor with my first, so I wasn’t really expecting it to happen this time around.)

So many machines!

 

I knew I wanted a hospital birth from the beginning, even with my first kiddo when I wanted to have him as naturally as possible. I’m glad too because the first baby had seriously scary moments of very low heart rates and I don’t think I would have handled the situation well without a team of professionals nearby. The one thing that comes with hospital births that, while understandable, was also extremely annoying in the whole process was that there are a lot of machines monitoring things.

I had my IV, a monitor for my heart and for the baby’s heart. I was also being monitored every few hours for my diabetes, fever, and blood pressure. Eventually due to the drugs that were going in I had to have the blood pressure cuff on me for the duration of birth and it was going off every few minutes. (OUCH) I had to try to stop and be still in contractions to be readjusted one way or another with the monitors. There were straps, stickers, cords and more coming every which way out of me. It was insane. The nurses were SO kind and helpful with the whole process and explained things to me so I knew what each machine and cord was for, but it was overwhelming in combination with contractions to say the least.

Okay, it’s working now…where is the pain medication?

 

The whole process went so fast compared to the multiple days of labor I had with my first son. The pain mounted much quicker and to my already swollen and sore body, well, I didn’t last long before I was hoping for pain management. I knew that I wanted to utilize the tub for pain management before getting my epidural. Getting into the tub was a big ordeal. (See above about machines.) It was totally worth it however when I hit the warm water. The water and jets made the pain much more manageable… and, by that point, it was BAD. When I finally knew I couldn’t handle it anymore and the team began prepping for my epidural. They checked me prior to getting the epidural and I was dilated to a six.

***Note: I had heard that laboring with Pitocin was more painful, but I didn’t quite understand how that could be possible after my three days of very painful natural labor. However, I think it is more about how quickly the pain surmounts. When laboring over days the pain gradually got worse and worse and my body seemed to adjust to it. This time around, not so much. ***

The first time around my epidural came as a last ditch effort before heading into C-section because my body was slowly tiring of three days of labor and I just wasn’t progressing. It was as if the heavens opened up when I got my epidural that first time. All of my body relaxed, I was happy, and suddenly the baby as here. AMAZING. I was hoping for the same experience this time around. Like most things with this pregnancy… it was completely different.

They couldn’t get the epidural in due to the swelling that was happening all over my body, including my joints. They poked my back several times trying to get it in and—between the contractions, my fear of the epidural, and the swelling—it just wasn’t happening.

This is about the time that I nearly lose my sh*t. I’m apologizing to just about anyone who will listen because I just can’t do it and my body hates me and etc. etc. etc. The nurse then suggests that they give me some sort of drug to relax me a tad. I wish I had the name of that drug, because holy cow, it sure did do the trick. It was quick acting. I could still feel the contractions and they still hurt in my belly, but that pain just wasn’t making it to my head.

The head anesthesiologist came in during that time and between his skill and the calm that had come over me, well, they finally got the epidural in. They had to place it higher in my back than it was placed in my first birth, and it made a difference for sure. With my first son I could feel nothing of a contraction. I still felt pressure and pain even with the epidural with this birth. However, I did not feel the ring of fire nor were the contractions quite as bad as they were prior to the epidural.

Then things went fast!

 

The biggest benefit for me with the epidural is how quickly my body relaxed and did it’s thing! I was feeling pressure like crazy and the nurses got my doctor to check on things and break my water. The baby was still pretty far back, but the rest of my body was pretty much ready to go with this whole birth thing.  They checked me soon after the epidural was in and my water had been broken (mainly because I was telling them, “I feel like I need to push!”) and I was a ten and nearly completely effaced.

Time to push! My office were waiting an update about the baby nearly all day, knowing I was being induced. Because it was nearing the end of the day I asked my husband to text my office to tell them that the baby was going to be some time off yet because it took me 45 minutes of pushing my first time around.  Six minutes later I had him text them back, “The baby is here!” The office emails were quite funny that day.

Our little guy came out in 4 pushes. Each push a gush of water came out with it because the water was still all surrounding the baby. My little guy was over 8lbs and just slipped right out! The doctor actually commented on the fact that the liquid missed the bucket and sort of splashed everywhere.

Birth Story of Our Second Child

This little guy was perfect. He had a beautiful round head (benefit of not being in the birth canal very long) and rosy cheeks. I did receive 2nd degree tears from the whole ordeal. However, my first son gave me 3rd degree tears…so, really this wasn’t bad! All in all my larger child was a much easier birth and recovery. I would have loved for birth to come on naturally and all that. However, this ended up being a much easier and enjoyable experience and my son was just fine. Every pregnancy and birth experience is different. This one was a hard pregnancy and easy birth while the first kiddo was a relatively easy pregnancy and hard birth.

I’m over three months from the birth and this experience has been so different than the first time around. He is a lovely kiddo and easy baby. I’m so very much in love. Seriously, look at that chin.